I have been an advocate for the Tribunal for almost seven years, and I must say, nothing surprises me anymore! As an advocate, it is my job to lead someone through the process of seeking an annulment in the Catholic Church.
It is a ministry that has taken me out of my "comfort zone," and without sounding too dramatic, it has truly affected my life. It has helped me become less judgmental, more compassionate and understanding, and a better listener.
When I was first asked by a friend (Deacon Mark Diener) to consider becoming an advocate, I wasn't really sure if that was something I wanted to do, or would even have the ability to do. I read a little about what an advocate does, and I prayed a lot. I began to feel that God was calling me to this ministry, and when that happens, there's no way to say no any longer!
As an advocate, I meet with people who are struggling. Some are recently divorced, while others have been divorced for many years. Some are Catholic and some are non-Catholic, and some have had more than one previous marriage. But it's not my place to judge. I'm there to listen and to help. I've never met with someone who was happy that their marriage ended in divorce. No matter how it ended, they all went into their marriage expecting it to last forever. So I try to let them know that God is merciful. He's ready to give forgiveness and healing. When I sit with someone and they share their story – their sufferings, their hurt and their disappointment – I'm always touched, and God is always there in the midst of it all.
Several of the cases I've dealt with have been particularly difficult. They've involved physical as well as extreme emotional abuse. As I'm listening to the client talk about the horrible ways in which they were treated (by someone who was supposed to love them), I ache for them. And yet I also can't help but feel blessed. I have a strong marriage, a loving husband, and I never have to worry that those things would happen to me. I also feel blessed that I get to hear this person's story. Many times they haven't shared their "whole story" with anyone. I get to witness a new beginning for them, a lifting of a weight that they've carried for a while. I truly believe God has placed me there for a reason, and I'm glad I opened my heart and answered His call.
Nancy Kopfle is the wife of Deacon John Kopfle, who serves at St. Vincent de Paul Church in Charlotte.