St. Dorothy’s parishioners Patrick and Jessica Kelty started the Domestic Family apostolate after their involvement brought healing to their family. Their seven children enjoy the annual family retreat where they spend time with one another and other Catholic families. (Photo Provided)LINCOLNTON — Patrick and Jessica Kelty were checking all the Catholic boxes. As the parents of seven children, they went to Mass every week, prayed the rosary, went to confession, and embraced the teachings of theology of the body.
Yet in 2019, more than 20 years into their marriage, Patrick felt something was off – he wanted to improve their family life. He knew that meant starting with himself.
“We may have been doing all the ‘right’ things, but then I’d yell at the kids and often lose my temper at home, so it was not ideal,” Patrick says. “I was too harsh of a parent.”
Soon the Kelty’s oldest niece, who had been looking for spiritual support for married couples and families, told them about the Domestic Church, a lay movement for sacramentally married couples that provides Catholic community and lifelong spiritual formation through small groups and retreats.
The next retreat for new couples was in Newark, New Jersey, and Patrick invited Jessica to go. She was not excited.
“‘No, I’m not doing that. We don’t need this,’” Jessica recalls telling him. “‘We’re doing plenty of things. Stop it. We’re great,’” Jessica recalls.
Patrick, too, remembers her protesting the idea.
But just when they seemed to have hit a dead end, their pastor, Father David Miller of St. Dorothy’s Parish in Lincolnton, lovingly stepped in.
“Father Miller told me to go,” Jessica says. “He said, ‘Every retreat is good. You always get something out of your retreat. Just go, Jessica.’”
GOING BEYOND THEIR COMFORT ZONES
The couple left for Newark on a gloomy day in November 2019. Jessica was still unenthused, but by day two, she completely changed her mind.
“The second day is really when you got into the meat of the retreat. It was probably the first experience I’ve ever had of praying with my husband,” Jessica recalls. “We just had never really done that, and so that experience of praying with him and of hearing what was on his heart and just being with him praying to the Lord was life-changing.”
Jessica says she soon realized they could pray together as a couple all the time.
“Within four or five minutes of thinking this way, I opened myself up to what this could do for our family,” she says.
When the Keltys returned, they were on fire about Domestic Church and started working to establish an apostolate in Lincolnton. Since 2020, the group has grown to 22 families from the parishes of St. Dorothy’s, St. Aloysius in Hickory, St. Joseph in Newton and St. Thomas Aquinas in Charlotte. Families get involved first through attending a weekend couples retreat like the one the Keltys attended in Newark, followed by monthly meetings and an annual family retreat modeled after World Youth Day, which was initiated by Pope John Paul II. Like World Youth Day,
Domestic Family retreats include camping and enjoying God’s creation with other Catholics.
JOIN THE MOVEMENT
Couples in the Diocese of Charlotte and surrounding areas will soon have a chance to join the Domestic Church movement through a couples retreat to be held April 13-14 at Belmont Abbey College and led by Father Elias Correa-Torres. A second retreat for those who are already members will be held May 4.
Each Domestic Church “circle” of families has a priest to help guide the monthly meetings, ensuring discussions remain in line with Catholic teaching.
“Having Father Miller involved gives us a really unique look into a priest’s marriage with the Church,” Patrick says, “and then at the same time the priest gets to witness the ins and outs of faithful Catholic marriages.”
The Domestic Church movement was founded in Poland in the early 1970s by Venerable Father Franciszek Blachnicki, with the close guidance and support of his friend Bishop Karol Wojtyla, the future Pope St. John Paul II. Today, there are more than 13,000 couples in Domestic Church in Poland and nearly 5,000 more around the world.
In just four years, the Keltys have made friends through the family retreats, grown closer as a family and, consequently, to the Lord. Their children, aged 8 to 23, love making new friends and spending quality time as a family. Daily, they witness their parents praying together, and they see a more peaceful father.
“Our kids call me Dad No. 2 now,” Patrick says with a smile. “It was that big of a change. It’s hard to be so overtly impatient or yell after you’ve prayed and allowed the Holy Spirit to reorder your life. Lots of different things can help in that type of situation – Domestic Church just worked for us.”
— Annie Ferguson
Learn more
At www.domesticchurchfamilies.com: Learn more about this Catholic family apostolate, sign up for the April 13-14 retreat at Belmont Abbey College and learn more about the May 4 retreat. Questions? Email Patrick and Jessica Kelty at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..