HARRISBURG — Ray Haywood did not set out in life to be an author. This husband, father and parishioner of St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Charlotte is a car salesman. But something happened in 2015 that propelled him to pen a book encouraging men to be godly influences in their families.
The book, “Tools to Ready the Journey: A Father’s Guide to a Faith-Filled Family,” was released on the feast of St. Joseph, March 19.
The book stems from a private revelation Haywood experienced, in the form of a weeping crucifix in his office at the car dealership. He purchased the handmade crucifix made of fish bone on vacation in June 2015 in Mexico, and after hanging it in his office that October, he noticed moisture dripping from it.
Haywood consulted his parish’s priests, who encouraged him to pray and contemplate the meaning of this private revelation.
Shortly afterward, he recalls, “I woke up with an overwhelming feeling that I had to write a book. Within a matter of 10 minutes, the title of the book and all of the chapters were outlined. I felt overwhelmed with the knowledge of the content that needed to be shared, as if every experience up to that point in my life was with this one purpose in mind.”
In his search for answers regarding this experience, Haywood says, “I have always been led to encouragement – encouragement to reach into the lives of men and share with them the value of leading their family’s faith journey by building the foundation of faith found in the New Covenant and in the sacraments shared in our one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church’s teachings.”
He explains that at the time of his prayer to strengthen his family’s faith, it had stopped at that – his family. “Through a moment of grace, I realized God’s intent within my prayer was to reach into and strengthen His/our faith-filled family,” he says.
In writing this book Haywood felt an undeniable call to action to reach into the hearts of young men and fathers who are building the foundation of faith within their families.
“I felt a clear calling to share life lessons and competencies to help guide the way of young men to a clearer perspective of a father’s rightful place within the faith-filled family – to give clarity among all the confusion this world places before them as stumbling blocks,” he explains.
In his book, Haywood says, “As fathers, we must understand and accept that every decision and position we take, through our words and actions, affect our families. If we become complacent to what society dictates as acceptable, then we separate our families from our foundation of faith.
“If we fail to challenge false truths, perceived as reality for those living in and of this world, and we fail to protect our families from the many worldly causes that try to capture their hearts, then they will lose their way as they face the world on their own.”
The book consists of 13 chapters, a study guide and other resources including a website and Facebook page designed to generate conversation and encouragement among fathers.
Says Haywood, “It is now time to reach into the hearts of young men and fathers and challenge them in humility to seek out truth, to understand truth as it is shared, and to take their rightful place within the family they are held accountable by God to lead. Before we can lead, we must first follow.”
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
For more information
At www.trjfathersguide.com: Learn more about “Tools to Ready the Journey: A Father’s Guide to a Faith-Filled Family.” It is available in hardcover, paperback and as a Kindle eBook online at www.amazon.com.
CHARLOTTE — Conor Gallagher knows a little bit about stress. As a husband, father of 12 children under the age of 16 and a business executive, he has a full life with serious demands on his time.
In his second book, “Still Amidst the Storm,” Gallagher addresses the stress, anxiety and the non-stop activity of our busy lives that can pull us away from God and rob us of our peace.
He knows from personal experience how each day can be swallowed up by obligations and how concern for the future can eat away at being present to God and others in the current moment.
Gallagher admits he has always been one to journal about his life and his growing family, with hopes of sharing his journals with his children as they grow so they can have written snapshots of their childhood years.
“This book arose out of looking back over those journals,” Gallagher said. “After a while, I began to see a trend in my journaling. The trend was my attempt to find some peace in a pretty anxious world. We live in an absurdly fast-paced world.”
He believes no one has time to do everything that they plan on doing. Everyone is bombarded with too many obligations, and there is just too much technology robbing us of our time.
“I’ve noticed we are just not comfortable sitting down and being still,” he observed. “But I find that is a major part of the solution – to do a lot less – to be home, to have conversations with your spouse and your kids.”
Gallagher says we need to make it a priority to “Be still, be calm, be silent. Let God do a little bit of work on you.”
His book is a reflection of that approach. He uses the Gospel of Mark 4:39, where Jesus stills the tumultuous waters during a storm, as the imagery for what God can accomplish in our lives if we give Him control and our attention.
Gallagher shares that a work of framed art on the wall in his father’s secretary’s office captures this moment in scripture. It has been on the wall for decades, as long as he can remember, giving him much pause for reflection over the years.
“I think that is the perfect imagery for the storm we have going on in our lives,” he explained.
Gallagher suggests three remedies for growing closer to God: living in the present, spending time in silence and learning how to be still.
“In my own life, I have seen people seek (worldly) solutions to their anxiety, their stress or their busyness, wasting so much energy seeking a solution. It breaks my heart to see people seeking a solution that just won’t work,” he said. “People think the trick is to seek worldly remedies, when what God is asking us to do is to be like the sea. He is telling us to be still.”
“Jesus tells us that the peace in our life comes with a true connection with God,” he said. “We find Him in the present moment, in prayer and in silence.”
— SueAnn Howell, Senior Reporter
Get the book
“Still Amidst the Storm” by Conor Gallagher, publisher of St. Benedict Press and TAN Books, is available online at www.tanbooks.com. Gallagher is also author of “If Aristotle’s Kid Had an iPod: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Parents.”