Back in the day (in this case, several years ago when they were still in middle school and high school) I sent my children back to school with a list known simply as their "back-to-school-list." And yes, each year they rolled their sweet little eyes at me, but they got the list nevertheless.
Over the years of doing this, a few teachers found out and asked for copies. I ran across the latest one the other day and it is from 2010. The following items are more or less the gist of it.
1. Find something you like about each of your teachers.
2. Remember that you are stronger than any social situation you may encounter.
3. Say a prayer, no more than five words long, before each class.
4. Do not bark before lunchtime. (You may growl if absolutely necessary).
5. Keep holy the Lord's Day. Guess what? They're are all His!
6. Keep your chin and your GPA up.
7. When speaking with an adult, use the word "like" no more than once per sentence and the phrase "Oh my God" not at all.
8. Eat your cell phone; remember to chew it up good and then swallow it.
9. Laugh at yourself. A lot.
10. Read.
11. Speaking in general terms, most of your teachers under 40 are less knowledgeable than they think they are and most over 40 are more knowledgeable than they think they are. In either case, they are all more knowledgeable than you, so listen up!
12. Never speak in general terms.
13. Don't set anybody on fire and keep you clothes on. (For many years this was a daily instruction before the children left for school. In later years they began responding rather creatively!)
14. Hold your shoulders back...right now!
15. Find the lonely kid, and do the right thing.
16. Remember that it is a child, not a choice, and if anyone tries to tell you that life does not begin at conception, don't listen.
17. Respect somebody.
18. Be corny; it's cooler than you think.
19. Talk more slowly.
20. Read some more.
21. Chase somebody. And when you catch them, tickle them.
22. Remember, it's a great day for the race. Ha, ha, the human race! (Dad's tired old joke)
23. Suck up to your principal. It can't hurt.
24. Don't listen to music that degrades people.
25. Keep in mind that God is not an experience you are having; you are an experience God is having. (courtesy of Rabbi Heschel)
There you have it, succinct and to the point. I'm sure I've left out some important things, but I was always painfully aware that you can't get too serious with kids all at once and that if humor does not play a role they probably won't listen at all.
It dawns on me now that while one of mine is a college sophomore and two are out of college, they all could perhaps use a "transition-to-the-real-world list." The problem is, I'm not sure I have transitioned all that well myself, or that my list, if I had one, would correspond well enough to reality.
Items common on many grown-up lists just get pushed aside in our attention-deficit household. But some things we do look at. We look carefully at how best to love a young person, in school or not, trying to find their own way when sometimes our best intentions are misinterpreted. We try to keep our eyes on folks we happen to know are living way under the poverty line and how best to give what aid we can – and hoping beyond hope that the same concern for others has rubbed off on our children. We look around at extended family and try to discern a role we may play that will promote family unity, or ease a pain, or urge a thimble of hope here and there.
And we do look at the back-to-school list ourselves and see where one or two things might be a wake-up call for us as well, because one thing the list has taught us is that we're all forever heading "back to school" and each day is indeed a great day for the race.
Fred Gallagher is an author, book editor and former addictions counselor. He and his wife Kim are members of St. Patrick Cathedral in Charlotte.
Thanks to the hard work of diplomats, politicians, and the Catholic Church, the relationship between the United States and Cuba has recently warmed up and the two countries established diplomatic relations for the first time in 54 years. After the long decades of Communist rule, Cuba may now be on the path to democratization and the relationship between the Church and state in this country is already showing signs of détente with the first new Catholic church being built since 1959 and a papal visit being scheduled for next month.
However, we know from historical experience that the renewal of Catholic faith in post-Communist societies does not come automatically with democratization and that it is usually much easier to repair destroyed buildings than to rebuild people's faith and trust in the Church.
The experience of post-Communist Eastern Europe shows this painfully well. Although in some countries previously ruled by a Communist government (such as Poland and Croatia) the Catholic Church is doing extremely well, these countries are the exception, not the rule. Most countries affected by Communism rank among the most atheistic societies in the world. Among the world's 10 least religious countries with even just occasional church attendance below 15 percent (according to Gallup re-search), more than half are in post-Communist Europe, including Estonia, Latvia, the Czech Republic, Hungary and Slovenia. Estonia and the Czech Republic rank as the world's most atheistic countries, where the percentages of people, who report they believe in God, is only 18 and 16 percent respectively (Eurobarometer Poll, 2010).
These statistics hold even after two decades of Church renewal efforts and multiple papal visits in many of these countries. Communism can destroy faith and penetrate society like no other totalitarian regime. Gradually religious symbols, holidays and celebrations are replaced with Communist ones, the school system is completely run by the government, and children are indoctrinated in atheism. History is reinterpreted and rewritten in such a way that the Catholic Church is portrayed as villainous, and any kind of spirituality is seen in a negative light.
By the time one or more generations have passed, people not only get disconnected from their spiritual heritage, but they also lack the most basic religious education.
Most countries in Eastern Europe have been free from Communism and under some form of democratic government for more than 20 years. There are no longer police agents inside and at the entrance of church buildings to check the IDs of anyone who would dare to kneel down in prayer in defiance of the official ideology. Bibles, religious articles and prayer cards are no longer banned from print and distribution. Public playing of Christian songs as well as celebrations of Easter and Christmas are no longer suppressed by the state, and priests are allowed to talk to children and young people without the threat of being permanently removed from ministry. However, the path towards Christianity is hard to find for societies that have experienced decades of Communist and atheist propaganda – where many people, especially the young, are not aware of the basic tenets of the Gospel, and where churches have been transformed into museums. People in this situation need active help to find their way back to Christianity. There is a great need for missionaries who would, through good works and example, help restore the faith of the peoples who once used to be the pillars of Christian Europe.
The case of Cuba shares many similar characteristics. A country that used to be more than 90 percent Catholic has been systematically de-christianized since the Communist revolution of 1959. Initially, Christian believers were not admitted into the Communist party, necessary for any career advancement. In the early 1990s the government relaxed that rule, admitting some Christians into the party and adjusting its constitution to prohibit religious discrimination, but the practice of one's faith remained discouraged.
Despite the fact that the country was already visited by St. John Paul II in 1998 and Pope Benedict XVI in 2012, Cuba today remains the least religious country in all of Latin America, with the lowest number of priests as a percentage of the population. Even though this country enjoys more religious freedom than other Communist countries, such as Vietnam or China, less than 6 percent of Cubans attend Mass regularly (according to the Church's own statistics).
Most of post-Communist Europe is still in great need of evangelization. Moreover, with the easing of the relations between the U.S. and Cuba, there is a now opening a new opportunity to help out a country, which was also devastated by this repressive regime, and which is the closest to our shores.
Dr. Kamila Valenta is a member of St. Gabriel Church in Charlotte and a part-time professor at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte, where she teaches ethnic conflict.