What we think is the right road
Dynamic leaders do not need advisors. Imaginative, decisive and resolute people forge ahead, uninterested in the timid consultation of worried counselors. To solve problems requires action, not conferences; to make progress requires bold new ideas, not the long-winded debate and weak-kneed approval of trembling bureaucrats sitting around a table, waiting for "consensus."
But it's the wrong road
Well, it's harder to find a more anti-intellectual, anti-historical, anti-philosophical position.
St. Thomas Aquinas told us, "Whatever is received is received according to the mode of the receiver." One is thus reminded of this line from Proverbs: "Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and refuse to learn" (1:7b GNB), and "Stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice" (12:15 GNB). Moreover: "If you listen to advice and are willing to learn, one day you will be wise" (19:20) and "You must make careful plans before you fight a battle, and the more good advice you get, the more likely you are to win" (24:6).
The last quotation has it, I think, exactly right in pointing out that we all need "good advice." Good advice, however, requires a good advisor. Ahitophel and Hushai are not widely known names from the Old Testament, but they have much to teach us. Ahitophel was an advisor to Absalom, who was rebelling against King David. When Absalom asked Ahitophel for his advice about which military strategy to use, Ahitophel gave sound counsel but, by divine intervention, Absalom ignored it and listened instead to the bad advice of Hushai, who was secretly working for David (see 2 Sam 17). Before long, Absalom was dead. As for Ahitophel, he hanged himself. (Some see Ahitophel as a type or figure of Judas.)
The importance of good advisors can hardly be exaggerated, whether we are discussing military science, international diplomacy, business ventures or sports management. Some years ago, I knew a distinguished retired Air Force general who knew what he did not know – that is, he recognized that he needed help in certain areas. He developed a regular panel of trusted, experienced and well-read counselors whom he could consult before he staked out positions on various matters.
Should we Catholics do any less? We know the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit: wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord. These gifts "make the faithful docile in readily obeying divine inspirations" (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1831). There is the key clue to finding good advisors: Such people are above all concerned with doing the right thing, in the right way, at the right time, for the right reason and – more – they are concerned that others will act in the same manner.
"Take the advice of sensible people," we read in Tobit, "and never treat any useful advice lightly" (4:18). We might remember that what we receive from God is His gift to us; what we do with that gift, how we use it and how we develop it, is our gift to God. We know there are different talents, and some may not use wisely and well the gifts they have received. Physical strength, for example, requires cultivation: we have to work out to develop that strength. The same is true for the spiritual gifts we have received: we must practice the faith and learn it more deeply.
If we have "good advisors" in our preachers, our confessors and our spiritual directors, we are richly blessed. We should seek out, not just "effective," but also truly holy confessors. St. John Vianney and Padre Pio are no longer available, but there are, thank God, many devout counselors to whom we can turn for direction.
The same Book of Proverbs which bluntly tells us not to be stupid and, therefore, to find good advice and wise counselors, is equally resolute in telling us, "Never rely on what you think you know." Rather, we are to "trust in the Lord with all your heart" (Prv 3:5; cf. Ps 111:10).
We sensibly seek wise counsel in our medical, legal and financial matters. We often look for help when we have electrical or plumbing or mechanical questions. We look for advice about our golf or chess or cribbage games. Should we not make it a priority to get the best spiritual teaching and preaching, the wisest spiritual direction and counseling, and the most inspirational confessor we can find?
But something is still missing. We need more than a good and holy counselor to grow in holiness. Good advice is wasted on the imprudent person. "Imprudent" means "unwise and lacking in care or foresight." So to choose good counselors, I must be wise; but to be wise, I must have good counselors!
But we are not alone in this. We are not without moral and intellectual foundation. Through our baptism, we are brought into the Body of Christ, and, as St. Leo the Great emphatically told us, we should, "Never forget that you have been rescued from the power of darkness and brought into the light of the kingdom of God." In the Church's teaching we find the truth – which is perfect advice that when we humbly accept it and devoutly practice it, sets us free (see CCC 890). The Holy Spirit is the "Paraclete" because, as Scott Hahn and Curtis Mitch have pointed out, he is our Heavenly intercessor/advocate who "pleads to the Father for believers still struggling on earth." The Holy Spirit, then, is the first, the best and most powerful advisor.
Deacon James H. Toner serves at Our Lady of Grace Church in Greensboro.
Back in the day (in this case, several years ago when they were still in middle school and high school) I sent my children back to school with a list known simply as their "back-to-school-list." And yes, each year they rolled their sweet little eyes at me, but they got the list nevertheless.
Over the years of doing this, a few teachers found out and asked for copies. I ran across the latest one the other day and it is from 2010. The following items are more or less the gist of it.
1. Find something you like about each of your teachers.
2. Remember that you are stronger than any social situation you may encounter.
3. Say a prayer, no more than five words long, before each class.
4. Do not bark before lunchtime. (You may growl if absolutely necessary).
5. Keep holy the Lord's Day. Guess what? They're are all His!
6. Keep your chin and your GPA up.
7. When speaking with an adult, use the word "like" no more than once per sentence and the phrase "Oh my God" not at all.
8. Eat your cell phone; remember to chew it up good and then swallow it.
9. Laugh at yourself. A lot.
10. Read.
11. Speaking in general terms, most of your teachers under 40 are less knowledgeable than they think they are and most over 40 are more knowledgeable than they think they are. In either case, they are all more knowledgeable than you, so listen up!
12. Never speak in general terms.
13. Don't set anybody on fire and keep you clothes on. (For many years this was a daily instruction before the children left for school. In later years they began responding rather creatively!)
14. Hold your shoulders back...right now!
15. Find the lonely kid, and do the right thing.
16. Remember that it is a child, not a choice, and if anyone tries to tell you that life does not begin at conception, don't listen.
17. Respect somebody.
18. Be corny; it's cooler than you think.
19. Talk more slowly.
20. Read some more.
21. Chase somebody. And when you catch them, tickle them.
22. Remember, it's a great day for the race. Ha, ha, the human race! (Dad's tired old joke)
23. Suck up to your principal. It can't hurt.
24. Don't listen to music that degrades people.
25. Keep in mind that God is not an experience you are having; you are an experience God is having. (courtesy of Rabbi Heschel)
There you have it, succinct and to the point. I'm sure I've left out some important things, but I was always painfully aware that you can't get too serious with kids all at once and that if humor does not play a role they probably won't listen at all.
It dawns on me now that while one of mine is a college sophomore and two are out of college, they all could perhaps use a "transition-to-the-real-world list." The problem is, I'm not sure I have transitioned all that well myself, or that my list, if I had one, would correspond well enough to reality.
Items common on many grown-up lists just get pushed aside in our attention-deficit household. But some things we do look at. We look carefully at how best to love a young person, in school or not, trying to find their own way when sometimes our best intentions are misinterpreted. We try to keep our eyes on folks we happen to know are living way under the poverty line and how best to give what aid we can – and hoping beyond hope that the same concern for others has rubbed off on our children. We look around at extended family and try to discern a role we may play that will promote family unity, or ease a pain, or urge a thimble of hope here and there.
And we do look at the back-to-school list ourselves and see where one or two things might be a wake-up call for us as well, because one thing the list has taught us is that we're all forever heading "back to school" and each day is indeed a great day for the race.
Fred Gallagher is an author, book editor and former addictions counselor. He and his wife Kim are members of St. Patrick Cathedral in Charlotte.