GREENSBORO — Donielle Wilde, her husband Keith and their 10 children know what it's like to receive a miracle ‒ well, two miracles, actually. One is a healthy little bundle of joy named Sylvia Hope, delivered via C-section after a harrowing pregnancy which was overshadowed by a cancer diagnosis. The other, they say, is a complete healing from that cancer.
The Wilde family's ordeal began when Donielle was nine weeks pregnant. When she met with her obstetrician for a routine ultrasound, he noticed a 5-centimeter mass on her ovary that looked suspicious. Donielle underwent surgery to remove the stage IV tumor, which doctors said they might not have discovered if Donielle hadn't been pregnant.
"All went well," Donielle says, but doctor thought there was still a significant risk of cancer because the tumor turned out to be metastasized from breast cancer that Donielle had fought a decade ago. Her oncologist recommended that Donielle abort her unborn baby girl, then start aggressive chemotherapy to prevent the cancer from spreading further. The tumor, doctors told her, was growing fast, as her pregnant body was feeding the cancer.
Donielle and Keith flatly refused to have an abortion, and Donielle decided to put off chemotherapy until after the baby was born. It was a risky move, but they said they didn't want to put their unborn daughter in harm's way. Instead, they relied on their Catholic faith, praying for the strength to follow whatever would be God's will in their lives.
Keith and Donielle Wilde pose with their little miracle, Sylvia Hope; Pictured at top: A giggling Sylvia Hope on her father's lap. (Photos by SueAnn Howell | Catholic News Herald)"We felt like she was such a blessing, because if she wasn't there growing we would never have known the cancer was there," Donielle explains. "It could have easily killed me. I felt like she had saved my life, and it was my obligation to save hers.
"I wanted to meet her – this beautiful child inside me."
The entire family eagerly awaited the arrival of Sylvia Hope, especially the Wildes' other nine children. "The children were all excited to have another sibling," Donielle recalls.
Prayer also helped Donielle through another challenge in her pregnancy: a large blood clot that broke up and went to both of her lungs.
"I didn't feel anything. I didn't have shortness of breath. I had no pain. I didn't know anything was happening," Donielle describes. "I credit that to the power of prayer. When we did find out that the clot was there, immediately people were praying for our situation."
After that, the rest of her pregnancy went perfectly, she says.
"It was a very joyous time for us with the anticipation of her arrival. I felt like it was one of my easiest pregnancies. I had so much energy! God really blessed us quite a bit."
Doctors continued to monitor her pregnancy, determined to deliver Sylvia Hope as soon as feasible so that Donielle could begin chemotherapy. On Nov. 6, 2014, Sylvia Hope was born via C-section, weighing 7 lbs., 1 oz.
"It was an incredible experience," she remembers. "I'd never had a C-Section. It felt like it was my first time having a baby – it was all different."
Her obstetrician Dr. Lewis Lipscomb, also a Catholic, led them in prayer before entering the delivery room, which Donielle says "just put all of us at such peace."
Donielle wore two religious medals during her pregnancy, one a third-class relic of St. Peregrine and another a second-class relic of St. Gianna Beretta Molla. She asked Lipscomb if he would put them in his pocket during surgery. "He said, 'No, I'm not going to put them in my pocket.' He then placed them around his neck. He handed me a wooden rosary, which was just so beautiful, (and) which I was able to hold during surgery."
The delivery room was crowded with medical staff "because of the uncertainty of the situation," she remembers, and she remained awake throughout the delivery.
"Sylvia came out perfect. There was nothing wrong with her," she says.
Donielle became a little concerned when she overheard Keith and others saying "I've never seen anything like this before!" But there was nothing wrong – it was just that Sylvia Hope was born already with a bottom tooth.
Immediately after the baby was born, doctors performed surgery to check for any cancer, and they removed one cancerous nodule, Donielle says.
"Nothing new grew during the pregnancy, which is extremely unusual," she says. "The cancer should have grown, it should have spread. Scientifically, everything was lined up for that to happen – and none of that happened."
Donielle recovered quickly from both surgeries, and on Nov. 21 returned to her oncologist.
He told her that tests had found no cancer. "You're grossly N.E.D.!" he said. N.E.D. stands for "no evidence of disease," doctors' shorthand for remission.
That, says Keith, "is really remarkable. It has to be one in a million, scientifically. We know in our hearts we were blessed with a great healing from God, no doubt about it."
Lipscomb is pleasantly surprised with how well Donielle is doing.
"It's quite encouraging that she has remained without evidence of disease," he says. "It's important we keep watching her closely in case she should show any signs of recurring disease. I do credit her speedy recovery and condition to her faith and her fervent prayer. She is a courageous woman.
"St. Gianna was someone that she asked for intercession during her pregnancy. It's no accident that she sought her intercession, as St. Gianna was faced with a similar situation in which she also had a tumor in her pregnancy and was told to abort her baby. Fortunately, her baby lived and has her life because of her mother's sacrifice.
"I think that paints a good picture of what Donielle did, too."
Their Catholic faith, Donielle and Keith both say, was instrumental throughout this challenge in their lives.
"The greatest gift I have ever received is my Catholic faith," Donielle says. "I thank my parents often for passing this faith down to me. Living out this love for my faith hasn't always been easy. I have learned it is only in cultivating it that brings about fruition. We must never stay idle, we must never be too busy to pray."
The family has always prayed together, particularly "morning and evening prayers together as a family which would always end with us consecrating ourselves to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary," she says, but at the start of Lent "we decided to 'kick it up a notch' by saying the rosary together every evening as part of our Lenten prayers. Even though it was often difficult to get through a rosary with nine children and the oldest was only 12, we persevered and it became easier."
After Lent they continued the nightly rosary and consecration, she says. "As our love for the Blessed Mother grew as a family, we felt the desire to show her our love in return. In May of 2014 I asked my parish priest if he could enroll our family in the brown scapular. He graciously said yes."
The Blessed Virgin Mary had helped lay a strong foundation for what they would have to face, Donielle says as she looks back on the past year. Their prayer life and reliance on the Blessed Virgin Mary helped propel them through the stage IV cancer diagnosis during her pregnancy, she says.
"We felt equipped and ready for anything. That grace and peace was bestowed upon our family through Our Lady of the Rosary and the brown scapular."
Donielle also credits her healing to the intercession of several saints, and the sacrament of anointing of the sick that she received from her priest.
"It is a tremendous blessing to be part of this Catholic faith that through the centuries has been enriched with these beautiful sacraments and sacramentals to help us along the way," she says.
Above all, she says, she and Keith are grateful for the prayers of so many people in North Carolina and around the country.
"It was extremely humbling. At first I felt uncomfortable asking for prayers because I know of many other people suffering or experiencing tragedy that I felt were more in need of prayer than me – as if I was using them all up.
Sylvia and Father Joseph Mack at her baptism at St. Paul the Apostle Church in Greensboro. (Photo provided by Donielle Wilde)"Then once again I was humbled. One Sunday at Mass while reciting the Penitential Rite it struck me as we are all saying, 'brothers and sisters ... pray for me to the Lord our God.' There it was, right there in the Mass. That is the Universal Church in action. We are our brothers' keeper, we all need each other on this path to holiness."
To all those who prayerfully accompanied them on their journey Donielle says, "Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for imitating Christ's love through your actions of prayer and sacrifice on our behalf."
Lipscomb asks everyone to keep Donielle in their prayers.
"Time will tell," he says. "There's always a chance of recurrence. That is why I continue to pray for Donielle and others should be encouraged to do so as well."
The Wildes view their ordeal not as a test of their faith, but as a way to unite their suffering to that of Jesus Christ on the cross.
"It is only through Him that you will be able to experience the joy of suffering and peace of the unknown," Donielle says. "I told my oncologists that if I made it through my pregnancy, I would do anything they recommended once Sylvia Hope was born. There was never a point that I felt fear.
"Often we need to step back and take a look at the situation we are facing with two sets of lenses: the natural and the spiritual. In my case, it was very easy to discern what to do when the other option was that of taking the life of my child. We need to remind ourselves that the devil wants us to be scared, fearful and in despair. We must rebuke those feelings by placing our trust in God.
"The things my oncologists had predicted to happen, such as an aggressive continued spread of cancer due to the pregnancy producing hormones acting like fertilizer to a plant, didn't happen, and no one knows why."
She adds, "I've come to the realization in my own heart that God wants to perform miracles. We just need to allow Him to do so, giving Him enough room to work and ridding ourselves of anything that is not of God, beginning with fear, anxiety and despair.
"God wants to restore order. We may not always understand His plan, but must trust and hope in difficult circumstances. Be at peace no matter what!"
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
'Being here was like being part of a big family'
BELMONT — "Aloha" was the theme of MiraVia's farewell party May 15 for its first residents, Bianca Nanje and her little boy Kasen. The pair have spent the past two years at the maternity home dedicated to college-aged mothers and their children. They are moving to Hawaii to join her new husband Randy, who is in the Marines and stationed there.
MiraVia opened the college-based maternity home, believed to be the first of its kind in the U.S., on the grounds of Belmont Abbey College in 2012. The 10,000-square-foot facility can house up to 15 unmarried women who have an unexpected pregnancy, providing free care and assistance so that they can continue their college education and better prepare for motherhood.
Pro-life advocates have long noted the need for an abortion alternative for unmarried, college-aged pregnant women, who make up a significant number of those who choose abortion.
Pictured: Benedictine Abbot Placid Solari of Belmont Abbey and Jeannie Wray and Debbie Capen of MiraVia are pictured with Bianca at her farewell party May 15 at MiraVia. (SueAnn Howell | Catholic News Herald)
According to the Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of Planned Parenthood, women in their 20s account for more than half of all abortions in the U.S., and unmarried women make up 45 percent of all abortions. The pro-abortion organization admits in its research that three-fourths of abortion-minded women surveyed say that keeping their baby would interfere with work, school or their family life.
MiraVia's college-based maternity home aims to give young women like these the help and tools they need after making the decision to continue their pregnancies.
Belmont Abbey's Benedictine monks donated four acres for the maternity home, and donations from MiraVia benefactors and the Knights of Columbus helped make it a reality. Bishop Peter Jugis, Bishop Emeritus William Curlin; Monsignor Mauricio West, vicar general and chancellor of the Diocese of Charlotte; Father Frank Pavone of Priests for Life; Serrin Foster of Feminists for Life; and David Bereit, national director of 40 Days for Life, were among those who praised the maternity home at its 2012 dedication.
Bianca Nanje and her little boy Kasen were first residents of MiraVia, a unique college-based maternity home based on the campus of Belmont Abbey College.(Photo provided by MiraVia)Nanje first heard about MiraVia from a nurse at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte's student health center. The college student said she was in denial for a while after getting a positive pregnancy test, but she followed the nurse's suggestion and eventually called MiraVia.
"I didn't believe it at first," she said. "A month later I called again to make sure it wasn't a joke and it was really legitimate."
"I met with (the program director) and she told me about the new facility and that they were waiting to receive their resident. At first I thought, 'It can't be real. There's no way there's a place that will help me go to school, help me pay for my baby's diapers, his food, give me a place to stay, give me a crib and my own bathroom – all for free.'"
In August 2013, Nanje gave birth to Kasen who weighed 7 lbs., 1 oz. During her 22-month stay at MiraVia, Nanje has worked toward a criminal justice degree from UNC-Charlotte, and she is expected to graduate in December. She has taken the LSAT, and says she wants to go to law school and someday practice family law so she can help others like herself who went through foster care. Besides her studies, she has been able to work as well as do internships, all while having the support and guidance to become a new mom.
The past two years have not been easy, Nanje said, "but I think it would have been a struggle if I had not been here. I would rather take hard than a struggle any day."
She said the most difficult part of leaving is saying goodbye to the MiraVia staff, especially since she grew up in foster care. "Being here was like being part of a big family. They are like real family. I am really, really going to miss that.
"It's a bittersweet thing (leaving MiraVia). I wish I could build a house right on the property!"
The staff at MiraVia said they have seen Nanje transform from a tentative young mother to a confident young woman who is now married and starting the next chapter of her life with her new husband and her son.
Jeannie Wray, MiraVia's executive director, and the staff were visibly moved as they took turns sharing prayers and best wishes for Nanje during her goodbye luncheon. They also gave her a rosary which had been blessed by Father Pavone at the 2012 dedication.
"It truly is a realization of a dream, and Bianca was our ideal first candidate. She is driven and she has a good heart. She knows where she wants to go and intends to get there. She also understands that a lot of people made this possible," Wray said.
"This is the whole reason in the vision of the house," noted Benedictine Abbot Placid Solari. "This an example of what we wanted to found. We are grateful in particular to the benefactors and those who made this possible. This is what it's for. It's a nice celebration to see that it is working."
Nanje added that she will return to Charlotte often so that Kasen can visit his father.
"The one thing I've learned in being here is to do things the right way (in the future)," she said.
She suggests that young women who find themselves with an unexpected pregnancy like she did should talk to others and seek help. "Don't make the decision by yourself. Reach out and talk to people,' she said. "There are other options (than abortion). The world's not ending. Education is still possible, you just need to be more driven and more focused."
She also said she is grateful to everyone who helped make her son's life and her education possible.
"I don't know if Kasen would be here if not for this place. I'm appreciative of MiraVia and the monks. I would not have had the opportunity or the chance to raise him and be his mother if it wasn't for this place."
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter