GREENSBORO — Sylvia Hope Wilde is now home.
The 10th child of Keith and Donielle Wilde, who doctors advised they abort when Donielle was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer during pregnancy, was born Nov. 6. She weighed 7 lbs., 1 oz., and measured 20 in. long.
"Sylvia is doing excellent," Donielle said Nov. 11. "I feel amazing! It was very fun seeing all our kids get so excited meeting their new baby sister!"
Sylvia spent some time in NICU being monitored for some fluid in her lungs, rapid breathing and other precautionary issues. Donielle was able to hold her daughter for the first time the day after she was born.
The family was able to bring her home Nov. 10.
Because her fifth daughter was born via C-section, Donielle had a CT scan of her lungs, but no cancer or blood clots were found. She will have a full body scan in a couple weeks once she has healed to check the rest of her body, she said.
"So far, there is no sign of cancer in Donielle.... This is miraculous," Keith wrote. "All the tissue sent for testing was negative."
Doctors removed a nodule that was a match of the tumor found earlier this year on her ovary, but they suspect that it was not new but was outside of the area they could see during the initial surgery in June, he added.
Donielle and Keith said they are very thankful for everyone's continued prayers.
"So many mini-miracles are coming to light. It is truly incredible to see the hand of God working wonders in response to the prayers and love of so many wonderful people," Keith said.
— Catholic News Herad, Picture provided by Keith Wilde
Triad couple trusts in God throughout cancer diagnosis, high-risk pregnancy
The following is the original story that appeared in the Oct. 10 edition of the Catholic News Herald.
GREENSBORO — Keith and Donielle Wilde know what it means to live 'Jesus, I trust in You' every day. Married for 17 years, parents to nine children under the age of 12, and the owners of a concrete business in Summerfield, they rely heavily on their faith in Jesus Christ and the Church.
But shortly after Donielle became pregnant with her 10th child in April, doctors found that her breast cancer, which had been in remission for the past nine years, had returned – and their faith was put to the test again.
"The beginning of this year was extremely difficult for Keith and me," Donielle recalls. "The business, financial stressors, and 11 of us living under the same roof had us both feeling maxed out. In our minds, we were sure that God had given us all that we could handle.
"However, God would soon reveal that He had other plans. Since we were using NFP (Natural Family Planning), we were more than a little surprised to find out we were pregnant with our 10th child. After sharing our feelings of joy and excitement, we began to wonder how God could think we were able to handle more. But He never let us down before. He always provided for us in the past, and we were confident this time would be no different."
So they accepted the unexpected pregnancy with joy and prepared to welcome their 10th child, a fifth daughter.
But when Donielle went to her OB-GYN for a routine ultrasound at nine weeks into her pregnancy, life took another unexpected turn. The ultrasound revealed a large mass on one of her ovaries – a discovery they would have never made "if it weren't for the new life growing right beside it."
"Once again God had shown His light for all to see what was happening in the darkness," she notes with a smile.
The tumor was diagnosed as cancerous. At 16 weeks safely into her pregnancy, Donielle underwent surgery to remove it.
"With God's grace we never lost our peace in spite of all that was happening," she says. "In fact, our faith grew stronger and our hope for a healthy pregnancy and delivery was in the forefront of our prayers, as well as all those praying for us."
Tests revealed that the tumor was not ovarian cancer, but Stage IV breast cancer which had metastasized. The breast cancer she had successfully fought in 2005 had returned, and doctors told her that the hormones produced from her pregnancy were speeding its growth.
Both the ovarian specialist and the oncologist strongly advised Donielle to begin treatment immediately. She had two options: abort their daughter, then undergo surgery and chemotherapy, or undergo aggressive chemotherapy throughout her pregnancy and risk a possible miscarriage.
"It felt as if the moment was frozen in time," Donielle says. "Looking back, it was as if we were in the midst of a spiritual battlefield, and the forces of good and evil were intently watching to see what our choice would be ... but in reality there was no hesitation in making our decision. We would not abort our child or place her in harm's way for any reason."
Keith recalls that day when they met with the oncologist and received the diagnosis.
"As a father it is very strange to sit across from someone, at arm's length, and listen to that person tell you to kill your child. I know that is a very blunt description of what took place – but it is also accurate. I realized that he did not see it that way. The doctor is a good man, kind, a father. He is a competent professional and very dedicated to doing all he can to save Donielle's life. But he simply did not see the child in her womb as a person. The pregnancy was a condition to be dealt with so that Donielle's treatment could begin.
"I honestly don't think he was prepared for our response. There were no tears, no breakdowns, no anger. We calmly accepted the news, and calmly refused the abortion. He spoke with us at length to make sure we understood the seriousness of the diagnosis, sharing survival statistics and life expectancies for cases similar to ours.
"We never wavered."
The chemotherapy-only option also had a down side, the Wildes recall, as the treatment was not specific to her type of cancer and there was just as much a possibility of it harming the baby as of being effective.
"This too was unacceptable, we would not endanger our child," Keith says. "It was then that we presented him with a third option: focus on delivering a healthy baby and then treat Donielle. It was a four-month window of time from diagnosis to earliest possible delivery date, and even though cancer can be very unpredictable, this did not seem like a very long time to delay treatment. After all, we wouldn't even have known about the tumor if it had not been for the baby's ultrasound. Four months or four years could easily have gone by without us ever knowing."
So Donielle and Keith decided to postpone treatment for her cancer until after their daughter is born.
"My doctors, husband and I agreed to a C-section in early November, which is four weeks prior to my due date, followed by the start of any suggested cancer treatments," she says. "Further treatment will be determined upon results of testing after she is born."
Keith explains that for Donielle, all three options have the same result.
"It is unknown what will happen with her cancer, none of the treatments offer any guarantee of success but only the possibility of prolonging her life by an unknown amount of time." But for their unborn daughter, Keith said, "only one option gives her the best chance to be born healthy and live out her natural life."
"How could we end that life, a life of endless hope and possibility, in exchange for the mere chance of extending Donielle's by a few years?" he said. "If we chose to abort the baby and sometime after Donielle passed away, both of their lives would be lost. We have all heard stories of cancer survivors who are miraculously cancer free. What if that happened for us – but we had aborted our child?"
They don't know if Donielle's cancer has spread in the intervening months since her last CT scan in June, but Donielle and her doctors remain optimistic.
Dr. Lewis Lipscomb Jr. is a pro-life OB-GYN who is caring for Donielle and the unborn baby, and he has dealt with life-threatening situations like this before.
"I have cared for courageous moms who have fought through cancer during their pregnancies – including women with breast cancer, melanoma, lymphoma, cervical cancer and uterine cancer," Lipscomb says.
"Donielle is doing very well," he said. "I performed an operation on her early in the second trimester to remove the tumor involving her ovary. We closely monitored her progesterone levels following that, to ensure that the pregnancy had adequate hormonal support. She has also developed blood clots in both lungs, for which she is receiving blood thinner."
Despite the medical complications, Lipscomb says Donielle's baby is developing and growing normally, and he is pleased with her progress.
"Aside from needing to be born a few weeks early, I expect her to do very well," he says.
Donielle is expected to deliver the baby via C-section in early November. Immediately following the delivery, Lipscomb, along with the gynecological oncology specialist, will perform a staging operation which will hopefully help them to remove, as much as possible, any remaining tumor.
"Donielle is a courageous and prayerful woman," Lipscomb says. "She has faced multiple life-threatening and life-changing situations with genuine grace. She is an authentic witness for life to everyone she encounters.
"I personally have come to appreciate even more the sacrificial nature of motherhood," he says, and he asks for everyone's prayers for the Wilde family and the medical team, for the safe delivery of their unborn daughter, and for Donielle's future cancer treatment.
Says Donielle, "We feel very hopeful that our little girl will be healthy and strong. We've accepted in our hearts whatever it is God has willed for my life. Whether it be healing from cancer, strength in suffering or a peaceful death, my heart remains at peace knowing Christ and our Blessed Mother will give my family and me all the grace we need to live it out."
Both Keith and Donielle say they thank God for the grace to help them persevere, giving them gifts beyond measure.
"We have always had a focus on our marriage, and that it consists of three persons – God being at our center," Donielle says. "Allowing Christ to navigate has blessed us with an incredible life of highs and lows, filled with countless blessings and tremendous sacrifice. By fully trusting in Christ, with the sacraments and the Holy Church it is possible to face all of life's challenges with the peace of Our Lord."
Keith says, "Of course, as Catholics our decision not to abort and to postpone treatment was rooted in our faith. We are pro-life by virtue of our Christianity. We have placed God at the center of our marriage, and he has blessed us profoundly. Now he has given us a cross to bear – who are we to say no?"
As Catholics, the Wildes believe in protecting the sanctity of life at all stages – but it's not just an abstract concept for them. It gets more real to them every day of this pregnancy.
"We have told all our children I have cancer and have explained to them the importance of prayer for our unborn baby and my health," Donielle says. "We have also found this as a great opportunity to educate them more deeply on the sacredness of life in every circumstance. We feel they are comforted by the example of peace and hope reflected in the way Keith and I are living out this unknown part of our life. Children often respond to crisis based on what they see others do."
She and Keith believe that is just another reason faith and communication are vital in times like this. It is a way of teaching their children virtue at a young age, setting the foundation for adulthood.
"As husband and father, I feel called to be a source of strength for my family," Keith says. "In these times, everything feels 'supercharged' with meaning and added importance, and I often struggle with a need to convey that to my young children.
"At the same time, I don't want them – or anyone who knows of our situation – to be fearful or terrified of what may happen. Instead, I want them to pray and to be hopeful. I want them to be confident in God's mercy and love. I want them to grow and strengthen their faith."
"These little lives – all 10 of them – we feel are blessings from God," Donielle says. "As I feel our baby girl kicking inside my womb throughout the day, it is a constant reminder to me of God's love."
She recalls a recent homily from their pastor, Father Joseph Mack at St. Paul the Apostle Church, in which he encouraged parishioners to "go into the vineyards."
"What does that mean? It means go forth and live the Gospel, do works in faith striving to imitate Christ," Donielle says. "Being Catholic is more than words to be spoken, more than books to read, more than places to go – it is how we are called to live our lives.
"What better way to imitate Christ than by repeating Our Lord's own words, 'This is My Body which I have given up for you' and then living out those words in love, for Him, with joy in our hearts?"
Keith adds, "Someday, whether Donielle is here with us or not, everyone will be able to meet our little girl. She will grow and do incredible things, she will love and be loved and she will be a part of this world. We will sing her happy birthdays and wish her Merry Christmases, she will learn to crawl and walk and run. She will bring into the world gifts given to her by God. Who knows what those gifts may be?"
Donielle believes each of us needs to challenge ourselves: "What is God is asking of me, personally, to better live out the Gospels? Whatever the answer may be, I ask you to fearlessly give God your 'fiat,' your 'yes'."
The Wildes have said "yes" to God's latest gift in their lives, and no matter what may come in November, they are confident that their faith will keep their family strong. Their baby daughter – whom they have named Sylvia Hope – is already proof of that.
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
Patron saints of pregnancy
Eulalia of Barcelona 304AD
Feast day: Feb 12
Patron of: Pregnant women
Joseph of Nazareth
Feast day: March 19
Patron of: expectant mothers, unborn children, fathers, family, adoptive children, foster parents
St Gianna 1962AD
Feast day April 28
Patron of: mothers, physicians & unborn children
Anthony of Padua 1231AD
Feast day: June 13
Patron of: pregnancy
Ulric of Augsburg 973AD
Feast day: July 4
Patron of: easy delivery, expectant mothers
St Margaret 306 AD
Feast Day: July 20
patron of: Pregnancy and Women in childbirth
St Anne (mother of Virgin Mary)
Feast day: July 26
Patron of: childless couples; pregnancy; pregnant women; women in labor
St. Raymond Nonnatus 1240AD
Feast Day: August 31
Patron of: Newborns, Midwives, Obstetricians, Expectant Mothers, Women In Labor
St Gerard Magella 1755AD
Feast day: Oct 16
Patron of: expectant mothers
St Silvia 592 AD
feast day Nov 5
Patron of: safe pregnancy and delivery
Elizabeth of the visitation
Feast day: Nov 5 (Latin) or
Sept 8 (Greek)
Patron of: Expectant mothers
St Leonard 559AD
Feast day Nov 6
Patron of: safe labor & delivery
Andrew the Apostle
Feast day: Nov 30
Patron of: pregnancy
Dominic of Silos 1073AD
December 10
Patron of: Pregnancy
Hartmann of Brixen 1164AD
Feast day: Dec 23
Patron of: pregnant women
Pictured: Father Frank Cancro (kneeling far left), pastor of Our Lady Queen of Apostles in Belmont, is pictured during his ordination in 1981. Also pictured (from left) are the late Father John Parsons, the late Bishop Michael J. Begley, and Monsignor Joseph Kerin, now retired. (Photo provided by Father Frank Cancro)
A question answered becomes 'a life emptied out'
BELMONT — A question changed Father Frank Cancro's life more than 30 years ago. That question, "How come you're not a priest?" was posed to him repeatedly during the 1970s by an older Sister of Divine Providence. She would point her finger at him as she'd pass him in the halls at a tiny hospital in Martin, Ky., where he worked.
"I decided I didn't want her to ask me that question anymore, so I was going to go away for a weekend and come up with an answer, give it to her and then she wouldn't bother me anymore," Father Cancro said.
"The Glenmarys ran a little reflection center north of where I was, and I spent a weekend there thinking about that very question and had to come back admitting to myself that maybe that is actually what I ought to be open to the possibility of."
What happened next can only be described as divine providence.
"I didn't know what to do about that, so I talked to the only person I knew to talk to."
That was the man who was in charge of a pastoral letter process that Father Cancro was also working on besides his mission work. The man, Bishop Michael J. Begley, just happened to be head of the Diocese of Charlotte at the time.
Father Cancro called him and asked if he could come over the mountains one weekend to talk about the priesthood, but when he got there he instead spent the weekend talking with the vocations director and meeting with the vocation team, with whom Bishop Begley had arranged meetings for him.
"After that process it all seemed very comfortable to me and I said 'yes' to it and started seminary in Baltimore the following fall to study for the Diocese of Charlotte."
Father Cancro greatly enjoyed the graduate work in the seminary and found it to be exciting, so he worked on two degrees there. He also appreciated the help of a spiritual director during that time.
"It was also energizing to be in a community of like-minded people... It made for good friendships and the kind of support that you find when people share a common commitment," he added.
Father Cancro's first assignment after ordination in 1981 was at Bishop McGuinness High School, which was located in Winston-Salem at the time. He found it to be a positive experience to be part of the administration of the school and responsible for the spiritual development of students and faculty, he said.
"That was a very gratifying time, where I think I was able to help shape some things and was able to be taught myself by the experience of those who had been in secondary work for a long time, and the students themselves."
He also really enjoys teaching and has made great contributions over the course of the past 30 years, serving as a professor at Wake Forest University and the Catholic University of America, and also in the Diocese of Charlotte in the area of adult religious education.
"We were only about 10 years old as a diocese and still developing when I was ordained, so I was very much a part of helping to shape what has become our adult formation program here. I found it a joy to not only teach people but to see them make connections, and to recognize something they have learned that might have been just one-dimensional in terms of the theological perspective, now all of a sudden have meaning for them."
In 2005, Father Cancro took a sabbatical and traveled to Asia and the Pacific.
"I experienced that the Church lives and breathes in many different ways around the world and to be in situations where Catholics are in a minority, or where there is still some persecution of the Church, or the presence of the Church is fragile because of the history of a country, and to see that still the faith lives there and that people seek to do the best they can to be Catholic. That was an amazing experience.... You really get a sense of what matters."
Father Cancro, now pastor at Queen of the Apostles Church in Belmont, has also always enjoyed parish life.
"I think the give and take of creating a community, nourishing it in Word and sacrament and being part of how a parish family grows with its challenges as well as its joys – I find it energizing as well as exciting."
In reflecting on the priesthood, Father Cancro shared that "the life of a priest is a life of being emptied out. There are two significant things that a priest does, I believe, in terms of some of the ritual actions of his life. The first is at his ordination: he lays flat on the floor. That prostration is an important sign, not just as who you are humbly before God, but before the rest of the Church as they pray over you. And there is only one other time that a priest gets down on the floor: that is on Good Friday. For me, that is always a sign – a powerful connection of priesthood and the Cross."
His advice to men discerning a priestly vocation? "Pray, pray some more, and let go."
— SueAnn Howell, staff writer